Chronic Illness  
 April 19, 2016

Lyme Lit

May is Lyme disease awareness month. In 2010 when my sister was diagnosed with Lyme and co infections I knew nothing about it. Soon after I went to a Lyme conference and learned I actually knew allllll about it. It was so surreal I could hardly drive home. I knew I could not un learn the bitter truth that was presenting itself to me. My entire future and past unraveled before me. It was all so painfully clear what was going on. Most of us were never taught that just like the other planet’s animals, we were animals. That means we are responsible for maintaining the balance of small creatures that like to set up camp inside us good and bad. The mysterious yet widely accepted diagnosis of cancers, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, lupus, MS, ALS, autism, arthritis, Alzheimer’s, dementia, heart problems, allergies, acne, asthma, seizures, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, OCD, ADD, depression, postpartum depression and miscarriages were unveiled in a different light. The idea of having one problem, one pill and a cure, or no cure, went out the window along with all the other lies I had been fed since childhood. Small problems grew into bigger problems due to a lack of understanding. I was not free, I was not allowed to get better and I was not allowed to be sick. My grandparents, parents, siblings, extended family and friends were all being sacrificed before my eyes.

I had two choices; One, listen to the voice inside my head that kept me awake drenched in sweat every night whispering “Kill yourself, you suck, this sucks, everything sucks.” Or two, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Thankfully the World Wide Web connected me to the millions of other people just like my sister and I who were suffering on so many different levels. Luckily, I had my sister by my side and a camera in my hand or I might have listened to the bugs whispering in my ear every night. These were the same bugs that tortured my family for generations undetected and without consequence. The same bugs that haunted my dreams and plagued my artwork. Of course there are good bugs that live within us, these are not the bugs I am talking about. The professors at Sacramento State and my incredible Lyme literate doctor helped me turn anger into a powerful vehicle for change and awareness with positive results. I poured my heart and soul into making imagery that helped me cope and had one purpose: Change the world. That is how Lyme Lit was born and how my sister and I faced the giant monster that is chronic illness.

When I hear someone say “My (insert friend or family member name) is sick with (insert cancer and or mental illness)” my first thought is that they have some type of infection or have been exposed to some type of toxin like a vaccine, or both, like me. I get a lot of eye rolling with this reaction but the idea that everything just mysteriously happens and it is out of our hands is just plain lazy, why would this happen to one person but not another. I often feel like I upset people’s parasites and worms, like they don’t want me talking about them. People get defensive and angry when I talk about it and have a blank zombie stare like they know it’s true but can’t admit it, it’s like we are under a spell. If you pay attention to the full moon cycle you will see a pattern of people losing their shit and then regretting whatever they did, is that really us? I do not have the answers but I do have some very good questions and that is all you need. If you adopt this way of thinking it helps you separate what is truly you, and what is a heavy blanket of illness.

These parasites, worms and chronic infections are not bad, they just are. They are trying to survive just like us. Understanding this takes away the fear and anger that often feeds chronic illness. I have had head to toe pain, neurological problems and chronic fatigue since childhood but not knowing why and not getting proper help made it hurt so much more. Stress, fear and trauma exist in a void of faithful ignorance, and we are the ones letting it happen. We must break the habit of helplessness to truly understand our current situation. These infections look for opportunities just like us. If we are injured or our health is compromised they strike. If we have negative thoughts and depression they are right there to help you suffer. These things are layered and work together meaning it takes an integrative ongoing individual approach to get it under control and keep it that way.

Our problems all revolve around being a victim or a victimizer, both will kill you. Accept that our health is something bigger than a doctor’s visit or a diagnosis, it is action and education. You don’t get to live forever but if you are wise you will understand that living in the moment and appreciating yourself makes life eternal, but we cannot do this unless we take responsibility for our health. I feel like collapsing every day but that is not necessarily a bad thing, it is humbling. I don’t eat as healthy as I should, get enough rest, detox enough or spend enough time with friends and family but that is all getting better now that I have been doing various treatments, over many years. My ego gets the best of me, I have a bad temper and many vices that often get me into trouble but that is okay because it all gets better along with my physical health. I often feel like we are afraid to get better because we don’t know what it will be like, we have been sick for so very long. Without EFT, Emotional Freedom Training, I would have never been able to accept all this meaning I would have never gotten an opportunity to start healing.

I don’t know why I feel compelled to take on the world’s biggest problems when I myself am often overwhelmed and confused. I have always been compelled to help, pushed by an invisible force to speak up. I do not think I will ever be “cured” because being cured is not real, every day is an opportunity to “cure” yourself, but it takes time and dedication and a whole lot of self maintenance. It takes communication and support from others who are also hungry for freedom. I know that people can suffer without infections but they sure don’t help any situation, and infections are always looking for that opportunity when they can take over. I’m not sure if there is a big bearded man in the sky but I know there is a greater power that loves and nurtures and I know I am one small piece of that truth. Putting faith into action and growth is much more effective than just having faith. I hate to see my sister Amber suffer relentlessly and would take it all on myself if I could. I watched my other late sister Jenny, and my brother Jayson suffer growing up as well and it lit a fire in my soul. Being the youngest I often felt helpless, which fed the flames. My parents gave us such a wonderful life and we had a hard time appreciating it because of  “mysterious” waves of “illness”. Now we know better, and we are better for it.

After a year or so of contemplation and tons of research on the subject, we tried MMS Magic Mineral Solution. We were so hesitant because there is so much controversy surrounding it and our government claims that IT will kill you. Not true. It is not only effective but it is affordable and has many uses. We are not sure where it is going to take Amber but it has helped me, her and countless others deal with everything from allergies to eye infections to liver detoxification and even mood improvement. It’s also helping our pets who share all these things with us. Please check the links I have provided below to learn more about MMS and the other amazing healing remedies and insights we have discovered over the years that our healthcare system completely disregards and often slanders against because it doesn’t make them any money. Take yourself out of the vicious cycle of learned helplessness and get educated. Remember that EVERYONE is affected by pathogens, imbalances, trauma and toxins and they need to be dealt with on an ongoing basis.

Amber has saved my life, and my nephew’s life and that is a beautiful thing. Whether she lives one more year or to be 100, she is the greatest human I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and is someone to admire. Getting better has been hard because I know she is still struggling to get out of bed and here I am starting a career and getting on with my life and it’s all thanks to her. Knowing that she wants me to be happy keeps me going and inspires me to no end. Her son Robert is just as amazing and kind as her and I know his future will be bright thanks to proper diagnosis and treatment. When he is an adult, along with my other nieces and nephews, life will not have to be so complicated.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope it helps you or someone you love.