October 9, 2020

Tantrums and Toddlers and Flares, Oh My!

I have MS, and I acknowledge this fact. This disease is debilitating, and some days I question how I can power through this at all. But, nothing trumps having to parent during these times. When all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. Or I lack the motivation even to exist. I still have to get out of bed to take care of my son. He is too young to understand what mommy is experiencing (I dread when we have to have the inevitable conversation).

We are in the terrible twos’ stage, progressing to whatever phrase describes the threes’. Micah is having a lot more tantrums over almost everything now. What he eats, watches, and activity he does. Some days I feel that I cannot satisfy all of his needs and wants. The constant crying and screaming are jarring on the nerves.

I fight the urge to become a yelling parent. I want Micah to be raising a calm environment. But, some days I can feel myself coming apart from the seams.

As if I am one tantrum away from completely losing it. How do I combat this? I’ve read the mommy blogs and books. No one has advice for parenting with MS. Parenting through the moments when you want to give up on yourself, let alone be able to support someone else.

Having a partner is what saves me. I would be nothing without Nick. We try to balance each other. The days I’m down, he takes on more responsibility, and vice versa. Nothing prepared me for what parenting truly is. I would not trade my son for anything in this world. It does not take away how challenging it is to raise him. I try my hardest to be the best parent possible for him.

For every bad day, there are multiple good ones. This is not a rant saying I hate parenting. I love parenting but some days I don’t. There is nothing wrong with saying that! More parents should be honest about the more challenging days. It does not take away from your ability to be an excellent parent. Or how much you love your children. Having MS and parenting is an EXTREMELY hard combination, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that.

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