Living life one nap at a time!
I start every morning with four alarms. After snoozing my third alarm, I usually lay in bed, working up the motivation to move. I’ve never been a morning person, but MS has made it almost impossible to function. It feels like I am living life half-asleep all the time. I learned that fatigue is a significant symptom. I had no idea how hard it is to function being exhausted.
Napping often makes me feel so lazy, wasting all day in bed. Unable to get much of anything done. I have to try as hard as I can to start my workday. This is beyond not liking the morning. I cannot shake the groggy feeling and I hate it. I have a lot of challenging symptoms, but in my opinion, fatigue is one of the worst ones. Depression and fatigue go hand in hand for me. The more tired I feel the worse I feel emotionally.
Before MSI HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A NIGHT OWL. UP ALL NIGHT AND ASLEEP ALL DAY, THAT’S HOW IT WAS. MY FRIENDS WOULD MAKE FUN OF ME, SAYING NEVER TO CALL MOYNA BEFORE 12 PM. OUTSIDE OF WORK AND SCHOOL, I HAD NO OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES. IT WAS NOTHING TO SLEEP UNTIL 2 TO 3 PM.
My life is a lot different now. I have a toddler and am starting my path towards a career. I feel bad being constantly tired and unable to help with my son at times. Dealing with the stress of 2020 in general, then trying to cope/live with MS. It is almost too much to handle at times. The fatigue makes sense, but it does not make anything easier. Even something as simple as running errands can be utterly draining.
By the time the weekend comes, I am so physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted, I have no drive to do anything. That leads to not seeing my friends and family often. Then I feel isolated and sad, fueling my depression. Everything spirals, and fatigue is at the root of it. So what do you do? I live life through napping frequently. I use to ignore my fatigue and push through the day. It was causing me to crash hard by the end of the day. I am learning to listen to my body and taking everything one day at a time.